Crimson Peak

I was fooled. I saw the trailer for months for Crimson Peak and it just looked so delicious, so beautifully scary, that I couldn't wait to watch it. Also Steven King said it scared him, so there was that. I waited for months to watch this film....oh the disappointment.... (there are very light spoilers below if you are not the very intuitive sort, so warning.)

First I should have known because Guillermo del Toro wrote this, anything he writes is boring. Yeah he knows how to make things so visually unique it usually saves him but his writing skills are just lacking. He takes what starts out as a good idea and somehow makes it boring.  Everything I have every watched the he wrote himself with his own original material ( Hellboy doesn't quite count because it was not his original creation) Is just boring. The same thing happens again in Crimson Peak. 

The film is just..tedious...and not very well told. Why does Mia fall in love with the baronet??? The only real reason we are given is because he can waltz really well. Seriously, that's it. There is nothing to back it up what so ever. He doesn't do anything dashing like save her life or overly romantic such as talk to her about he too is missing a parent and understands the pain of losing his mother tragically (which would have fit in the story). The love story part was very obviously written by a man. The fact that the romantic parts are quite lacking hurts the entire film. Even the doctor who is also in love with her, their scenes are just lacking. Why does he love her. why does he go to such extreme lengths for her? 

Then there are the ghosts. Yeah they are visually interesting to look at, but I am in no way afraid. Were there not enough of them? I don't know. Stephen King, I am so calling you out right now. You are going to tell me this frightened you when you wrote one of the best ghost stories ever written. Um, Crimson Peak is no Shining Stephen and shame on you for letting me think the ghosts who live there could in anyway live up to the ghosts who live in The Stanly. There is no suspense with the ghosts in this film. All of the suspense come from trying to figure out what is going on between the brother and the sister. Yeah, it's pretty horrid in a flowers in the attic kind of way but it isn't enough to push the entire story. I was there to see murderous ghosts, not whatever that was.

Final thoughts: The movie felt like it was to long because not enough was happening. If you are going to write a romantic movie, spend a little time learning about freaking romance. Watch a few damn chick flicks or at least turn on the lifetime movie network for a few days. Ultimately Del Toro needs to learn how to make monsters not just amazing to look at but actually frightening...and tell me again WHY this film was rated R? This movie would have worked better for the Twilighters with just a few adjustments, trust me on this. 

Horror Fans don't waste your time on this, go out and watch the much better Tales of Halloween. I loved this anthology film. It's not quite up to par with Trick R Treat but pretty close, I plan on making this film part of my Halloween tradition.