Just shut up you food elitist. You organic food eating...400 dollar a week grocery bill having pretensious, annoying little nerd. I'm betting you like Taco Bell just like the rest of us. I've seen you...I caught you red handed buying that delicious ice dreamey Drumbstick. I know the secrets you don't think I know about. Personally I don't think a few chemicals in our food is going to kill anyone but even if you do....don't think I don't know about your midnight Jack In The Box runs. Bellow I've listed some of my favorite chemical concoctions available at your local food crack distributors nationwide.
5. Taco Bell smothered burrito.
It's amazing. Basically everything on the Taco Bell menu is amazing. I mean they took the Dorito and made a TACO shell out of it. That's just genius. I could eat every freaking thing they serve but the smothered burrito is just perfection. It's huge and covered in red sauce, sour cream and gooey tasty warm cheese. Take it home and enjoy with chips, salsa and a nice Dos Equis for perfection. It's over 600 calories but worth every bite.
4. McDonald sausage egg mc muffin
It's the perfect breakfast isn't it? Admit it, when you wake up early enough to stop by and grab one..isn't you're whole day just a little better? Warm, soft, and cheesy ( I'm a big fan of cheese), you could make them yourself at home..but it's just not the same is it? It's 300 calories of perfection.
3. MaggieMoo's cinnamon ice cream in a Heath bar coated waffle cone.
If you have never had this I suggest you do. I have this treat exactly once a year. I'm afraid to even know how many calories it has. This is the perfect mix of sweet and heat. MaggieMoo makes the absolute best ice cream...it beats Ben and Jerry's any day.
2. Jack In The Box sourdough cheesesteak melt
I think this is a limited time deal so jump on it if you haven't had one. There is alot of cheese, oh...the cheese. So gooey! Then the bread is lightly buttered too. There are plenty of onions and peppers to top the steak, but mostly I love all the amazing cheese. It's only about 450 calories too! Definitely a midnight snack must have.
1. Petros original
It's hard to find a Petros but if you do...order the original. What's an original you ask? Oh just a cup filled with food layered in this order: corn chips, chili, cheese, tomatoes, green onions, and sour cream. Jalapeños and black olives are optional...but not really, I mean why live in a world with out black olives and jalapeños? Oh my. It's magical really. It's like what I imagine unicorn meat tastes like. Unicorn meat.
Honorable mention goes to sonic Chicago style hot dogs and the turtle molten cake Sunday. There is nothing better than a hot summer night and a trip to sonic. The hot dog is. Covered in a pickle, relish,
tomato, celery salt, peppers, and a poppy seed bun. The cake is warm and cold at the same time with nuts and carmel. It's kinda a big deal.
So eat this you food elitist pigs, no seriously..if your mouth is full, I won't have to hear your mouth.
