No ADHA is not made up to sell drugs, I know.

WHY I WROTE THIS ARTICLE
I see so many posts about how adhd is just an excuse to medicate children. I see people saying we over medicate children and it's all a money making scheme for bad parents. I get why a person who doesn't have adhd would say that. It seems as if a person would just force themselves to pay attention...they could do better. I can't say if every child diagnosed has adhd for sure. I was never diagnosed. I was a child during the 80s in rural america. No one had heard of ADHD yet, and even if they had who knows if back then my parents would have had access to help where we lived. In general I think we see more children diagnosed because, like many other disorders...we have the ability to diagnose and treat it now. Why is that important? Because while in humanities past my way of thinking might not have hurt my chances for providing for myself and my family and generally being successful in society..today they way I think does. It doesn't matter that you, as a parent think that isn't fair...it is how it is.
I have never seen what I consider a good explanation of what adhd is. I think this is because people who have adhd might be afraid if you knew what happened in their heads, you might blame us more than you probably already do. I also think the experience can be slightly different from person to person. This is because I think people have different degrees of the problem. I myself do not think I have the issue as badly as many others do.

WHAT IT'S LIKE:
Have you ever driven home and then realize you have no memory of driving yourself home? HOW DID YOU GET HOME? Your brain was basically in auto pilot mode, that's me 50% of any given day.
I get you think, oh you won't forget this thing or that thing if you just force your brain to stop and concentrate. JUST BLOCK OUT THE DISTRACTIONS.
Um, no. Don't think about a cow. Were you successful just now? No? Yeah that is about how successful I am at stopping my brain from going into auto pilot mode. Except it is worse because I never know when my brain is going to decide to do this. I make it through the day because I am so skilled at what I do that I can literally do almost every task without thinking about it. This also means I will always make mistakes. It isn't something I can avoid. It doesn't matter how many checks and balances I put in place, details will always escape me. I can be talking to you, write something down and then not know where I wrote it down...as I am still in conversation with you. I can also have conversations I am not even actively present in.

What is auto pilot mode
Basically...my brain has already jumped to another thing... to me it often feels as if people can't keep up with me. Some people will say, their brain needs new stimulus, or they are bored. Actually I just find that my brain is always making connections and moving on to the next thing.That is why you can have a conversation with me and it seems like I have randomly started talking about something else. Not really, in unkind terms I am just bored with your conversation to be honest, I've moved on. However you learn in society to keep that in a little bit. Some people describe it as having a TV that always changes channels or a computer with 10 tabs open. To me it is more like having two programs running on a computer. One is the task at hand you are supposed to be working on (in auto pilot mode)..the other one is Facebook..and it is on auto scroll! Had I not learned to put myself in auto pilot, I'd be in real trouble.I also can't say if other people who suffer are able to do auto pilot,

How do I cope:
What is important for me is ritual. This won't keep me from never making a mistake, but it helps. Doing tasks with multiple parts at once might be bad for me, so breaking it down to just one part and then coming back for the next part another day is much easier. I don't like change or new environments. I need to do the same things, the same way, every day. It is important to remember that I will still sometimes mess up, this is inevitable. I will lose my keys, I will misfile something, I will check something off of my to do list that I haven't actually done because I got distracted in the middle of doing it...and I think it has been done. If I do not make a plan to complete tasks, give myself deadlines, and give myself rewards..somethings just will not get done. If you are a parent with a child you think has ADHD....HELP THEM do this. It has taken me years to understand this about myself...and many more years to understand I have to accept I will always be a bit broken. I also work well with distractions that I enjoy while doing what I don't enjoy.While other people might not understand, the reality is my problem is lack of stimulus...while doing two things at once cuts down on correctness..it allows me to get somethings done I normally would have no tolerance to do at all.

Hyperfocus:
This is real. It is awesome. It might also make people think a person doesn't really have adhd. Hyperfocus happens when you are both very interested in something and very challenged by something. I wish I could force myself into this mode every day. This is why a person with adhd may read all the time and remember every detail, when you think they should have no ability to sit long enough to read. (in many groups I am in several of us have the ability to read and comprehend and enjoy books at a speed most of you wouldn't believe) It is also why many people with ADHD might have one area in their life where they excel. It can also mean becoming obsessed with something and not being able to move on from a task. I have been known to edit one picture for hours, never able to stop as it isn't perfect yet. That said, you probably want me around when there is an emergency. I handle crisis well.

How it affects me:
Physically, I suffer from exhaustion. I didn't know that was a normal thing until I joined online groups. It is one of the most common symptoms of ADHD and I feel tired all of the time. A good friend once said of course you are always tired...your brain wears you out. Any kind of random noise keeps me awake at night. Running the TV or something can help but getting a good nights sleep can be hard for me..and this adds to my fatigue.
Emotionally I have an awful temper and low frustration level. I can be terribly impatient. New studies show that people with ADHD get huge bursts of emotions..not surprising when you consider what ADHD is.  The good part is, it is a burst and I move on just as quickly.
I have always been unlikeable to many people. I can seem narcissistic, blunt (maybe callus?)  and  socially awkward. I know this about myself and I am unable to change it. I only know these things now due to my age (over the years people now and again will say something) because I really have little self-awareness. No self-awareness....no ability to change. If people don't tell me what they are thinking I won't know. After all, I would absolutely say whatever I am thinking because that is how the ADHD brain works.
At work, I don't interview well. So landing jobs is hard for me. I also will always have areas where I make mistakes now and again, simple ones more likely. This is the kind of thing that makes you seem incompetent, even when you might be the best and brightest in the room.
In life I have to deal with losing things, over extending myself and having to plan for my own screw ups. That's right. I fully expect to break things, lose things, and forget things. I pre-plan for it.

I don't understand you:
I don't really understand why the world is so focused on details. Why does it matter if a word is misspelled. (didn't you understand anyway?)  Why is being on time so very important? (I'm here..what is the big damn deal)  Why aren't people more blunt? (I don't have time to guess how you feel or what you are thinking, it's not rude it saves time.) Why do people tend to dwell on little things that have little real importance. (Don't you have other things to do) No, seriously, I really do not get people.

My Take Away
If medication can help your child..have more friends, make better grades and not struggle..who cares what people think. I have spent many a night crying myself to sleep because I wanted to badly to be better. I wanted people to not shun me..I wanted to make better grades. I wanted to understand and learn some subjects better. I was lucky to be a fast learner in school or I might have never made it to college. I can tell you from experience no amount of behavior modification alone will eliminate the problem. As I have never been medicated I cannot say how well medication might work, but I feel it is worth trying. Now I think if I were to go to a doctor they would think I was simply drug seeking...and I am afraid of getting help. However now I wish I was a better employee, I wish I didn't have many of the other issues I still struggle with. Life with ADHD is a constant struggle.

Here are some articles you might be interested on if you have a child with ADHD...and no..I did not edit this blog post. lol
https://www.littlemisslionheart.com/is-adhd-real-here-is-the-honest-answer/?utm_medium=social&utm_source=pinterest&utm_campaign=tailwind_smartloop&utm_content=smartloop&utm_term=19434206

31 Days of Halloween: Movie a Day Challenge

  
                                                         HAPPY SPOOKTOBER!!!!!

Day 31 ITS HALLOWEEN!!! 
Trick 'r Treat

Every year this is my go to Halloween movie. It just may be the perfect Halloween film. I still hold out hope for a part 2.

Day 30 Paperhouse

A macabre children's dream, Paperhouse will haunt you. In the film a child who is bedridden create images that, for her, come true. It has that 80's feeling you might get from the Neverending Story or similar.

Day 29 Innocent Blood

Have you ever wanted to see a mobster vampire movie?? If so, the under rated Innocent Blood is for you. Not to mention the cast which includes Sam Ramie, Frank Oz, Angela Basset, Don Rickles, Luis Guzman and a host of other cameos to keep your eyes peeled.
Day 28 Nick Night

This one is going to take a bit to find, but it is available on Amazon Prime. When you google be sure and put Rick Springfield in the search with the title. YEP.  Ol' Ricky made a horror film. In it he plays a vampire who this chick falls in love with. This ws turned into a series that was on USA or somewhere I don't remember. At the time I had no idea that it was based on a movie. Oh man is this one cheesy, but...RICK SPRINGFIELD IS A VAMPIRE!!! This one is good for a laugh.

Day 27 Assimilate

You know revenge of the body snatchers??? Ok well this is pretty similar, except I found it way more tense. Sure the idea isn't new, but what idea is? This is a pretty good film and a real recomendation from me.

Day 26 Rattle Snake

The lady and her small child are out in the middle of nowhere and her kid gets bit by a rattlesnake. Her life is saved and the woman has to kill someone by the next day or her child will die. I will be honest, the ending is depressingly predictable and this wasn't one of my favorites. Still it was my pick for today so, her you guys go. It's free if you  have netflix so..ok then.

Day 25 Daybreak

This is Ferris Bulers day off of the Apocalypse. So far I have only see two episodes, but I'm really enjoying it. Great binge watch, this one is a series.

Day 24 Dead and Buried

You know...I can't tell you what this film is about without giving it all away. So let's just say you have never seen..the thing this is..done like this. If this is a thing  you like, you will find this refreshing. Clear as mud? Go watch this film.

Day 23 Beyond the Door 3

Is there a beyond the door 2 or 1 for that matter? I really don't know. I'm almost positive i saw this for the first time one Saturday afternoon on USA. Does the film make a lot of sense, no..but the weird plot will keep your attention; There are random killings and Satan tries to take one of the students as his bride.

Day 22 My Soul to Keep

Nine year old Eli knows there is something in his basement, and he is going to get it! This is a family safe film and a good one to watch with the kiddos or without to be honest.

Day 21 Uncanny Annie

Day 21 is another Hulu entry, from the Into the Dark series, Uncanny Annie is the Halloween 2019 entry. It is basically a horror Jumangi. The idea is good, however it is never executed well. This film needed to be more umm..R and less PG. The film is ok however, not terrible and not great either. Annie's irritating laughter gets a bit old too.
Day 20 Huluween Film Fest

As part of Huluween, Hulu has an annual horror film fest. the winner gets 50k toward making the film feature length. The winner is determined by who gets the most online engagement so watch them all and give your fav film a thumbs up!! The best in my opinion, is Swiped to Death.

Day 19 Wounds

What even was this? I honestly found the ending so frustrating because it didn't make much sense. Still, it was my pick for day 19 and it did keep my interest. It is just a shame that the ending is so...out there. I will give a heads up...read about the Gnostic cults to try and figure this out out, although I  am not sure how much help that will be.

Day 18: Little Monsters

Available on Hulu, Little Monsters might be the cutest little zombie movie you will ever see. Down on his luck and recently broken up Dave is staying with his sister and nephew and getting his life back together. When taking his nephew to school he meets kindergarten teacher Miss Caroline. He offers to go on a field trip with the group when a zombie outbreak hits. Now it's up to Dave and the fearless Miss Caroline to get the kids home safe!! This is a perfect date night not so horrifying, horror comedy.

Day 17 The Banana Splits Move

I won't lie, I haven;t seen this one yet but the idea intrigues me. I;ll watch it tonight. In case you didn't know the Banana Splits were a real children's TV show by Hanna-Barbera in the 60's. I personally have never seen an episode, but I knew about the show. It seems like a psychedelic nightmare and I think a horror movie about the show is actually appropriate. My plan is to watch this one tonight. 

Day 16 The Final Wish

After a man's father dies he comes home to help his mother. He finds a mysterious box that grants wishes.I guess you already know where this is going. I imagine this type of horror originates from the fear people have of actually getting what they want. The film stars fan favorites Lin Shaye and Tony Todd.

Day 15 Two sentence Horror Stories

Available on Netflix, this series is a horror anthology with each episode being unrelated to the next. It was inspired by the virl post, write a horror story in two sentences. I binged the entire first season and loved every episode. I've completed enjoyed every episode and recommend this one for a Friday night binge

Day 14 Satanic Panic
A young girl who has beat cancer gets a job as a pizza delivery driver and after delivering a pizza to a ritzy neighborhood becomes that neighborhoods second pick for a human sacrifice to bring forth a demon into the world. This one was directed by a woman! However it isn't ground breaking horror. It is however absurd enough to be funny and the main character is likable enough to root for. The film could have used a bit more character development and maybe they whole rich people use the devil to rul the world idea could have been fleshed out more..but in general it is a decent movie. I certainly liked more than the vast majority of second rate horror coming out these days.

Day 13 Freakshow
Not to be confused with Creepshow (which is honestly a better film) Freakshow is a horror anthology movie from Canada. There are four horror shorts and a wrap around story about a movie theater massacre and a reporter. It isn't the best horror anthology and it isn't the worst. I love the 80's quality to it but the story lines don't always make that much sense. It's worth watching just to say you have seen the Creepshow rip off..also in one of the shorts an 80s  music video basically happens, so there is that.


Day 12 Terrorgram
James Earl Jones narrates  short horror anthology shorts. In the story a demonic delivery boy delivers packages to people who deserve them.  I can't help it, I love anthology films. The stories are all good enough and that;s what I'd say about this film..it's good enough but not spectacular. Still if you are looking for obscure films...as I promised...this one is a good pick.


Day 11 The Runestone
I remember this one from my dad's video store. Miners find a stone with Norse runes. Why would it be in the us??? That isn't explained but, who cares right??? Anyway they find this stone and one guy gets possessed by what what I guess is a bad Norse god. The police man on the case has a son who is having prophetic nightmares about it and at the last minute an old norse god comes back to fight the bad norse god.IF you haven't seen this one...you should.
  

Day 10 The Curse 2: The Bite

This movie is completely absurd. It is one of the craziest films I have ever seen. A guy gets bit by a mutant snake and then his hand starts to turn into a snake...but wait there is more....he then has snakes come out of him. Now be sure and watch the unrated version and not the R because that last thing you want is the camera looking away right when the dude's hand snake is about to maul something. This movie isn't really related to The Curse and there is a part three, also not related to ether of the other two films. Look for this one on YouTube, I'm sure you will find it if you are stealth enough.

Day 9 Contracted

A friend of mine used to tell this urban legend about having a one night stand with a dude, catching a rare STD and finding out that STD is due to basically having sex with dead people. She called it Zombie herpes and we had joked about making it a movie...and then someone made it a movie. Contracted is about a girl who catches the zombies through sex.

Day 8:
YouTube Series Adult Wednesday Adams

Adult Wednesday Adams features an adult Wednesday doing mundane things...but as Wednesday. It's funny and absurd and a shame the family of Charles Adams flagged her for copyright. Had they been smart they would have worked with her. There is a good argument to be made that her creation was safe under parody usage...but regardless, she would have no cash to fight the Adams family. There is two seasons available online and the entire show can be binged in 40 minutes. So, what are you waiting for? Go treat yourself. 

Day 7: WNUF Halloween Special: the Infamous Broadcast

The only place I know you can find this one is on YouTube. If you grew up during the 80s this needs to be on your must watch list this Halloween. It;s set during a local tv stations Halloween news special Complete with vintage style adds and funny local type news stories. It's light on horror and high on nostalgia and humor, It;s very low budget but has high ratings no matter where you look, The film looks close enough to actual 1980's film that you might actually feel you are watching a video taped version of the news from the 80's. There was a lot of time spent on making this look. I;d give anything to have the actual VHS version of this to trick people and say..I just found this laying around somewhere in the city. Let's keep our fingers crossed that the sequel I heard about happens.

Day 6: A Return to Salem's Lot

I have fond memories of this film. It's a great concept even if the execution wasn't the best. In the film a exploitative documentary director moves back to his hometown and into a home left to him by his elderly aunt. The town is ran by vampires who want him to tell their story. In the end he ends up fighting the vamps to keep his son safe with the help of a nazi hunter. It's nothing like the original so don;t watch with expectations of a real sequel. '

Day 5:Psycho 2

The first Psycho I saw was Psycho 2. It's worth a watch for the incredible cinematography. The film was made as a love letter to Hitchcock by a friend. It's really a shape this film has mostly been forgotten.

Day 4: Sleepwalkers


People hate this movie and I am not sure why. It has a little bit of everything...Luke Skywalker, Clive Barker, incest, nomadic vamperic were-cats, hero cats, Ferris Bulers parents, teachers trying to molest students, death by corn cob, hellboy, invisible cars, spontaneous combustion and  cop kabobs, Is the plot good...no, is the special effects good..negative, how about the acting then...i mean everyone said their lines at the right time I suppose. Look I have no idea how this film got made, but let's just be thankful it somehow happened.

Day 3: Room 104

This series from HBO is what you need to binge this Halloween. It is more creepy than the twilight zone every thought about being. The show focuses on the people who come and go from a specific room in a run down hotel. The new season has upped the creep factor to eleven.

Day 2 The Dead don't Die in Dallas


Not to be confused with The Dead don't die, this films has Ticked off Trannies with Knives star  Willam Belli who I happen to think looks a bit like me but kinda hotter!  In the film scientists invent an aids/other diseases curing pill and everyone who has  taken the pill turns into a zombie. There is a lot of preaching about gay being ok and a very Westboro Baptist-ish preacher condemning everyone in the film. I think it's pretty safe to say if you are watching the film you probably don't need to hear that sermon. Reasons to watch the film...you like Willam Belli..and that's about it. Honestly they could have just made a film where willim runs around killing zombies in heels shouting one liners and I would have watched. It;s not for everyone though, but if you are a fan of Ticked of Trannies with Knives or William or Drag Queens (a few big names in drag make cameo's). Give this one a watch if you want to see something a little different.


DAY 1 PUMPKINHEAD

I don't get why Pumpkin Head doesn't get more play around Halloween, it's certainly aptly named. Pumpkin Head is just an average everyday revenge demon that was buried in a graveyard by a witch. In the film Ed Harley seeks revenge for the hit and run death of his son by seeking out the monster with the help of the witch. There is a fan theory that Pumpkin Head is the witches son, but that is never stated in the film.  There are a total of four Pumpkin head films.The movie was inspired by a poem by Ed Justin.

Keep away from Pumpkinhead,
Unless you’re tired of living,
His enemies are mostly dead,
He’s mean and unforgiving,
Laugh at him and you’re undone,
But in some dreadful fashion,
Vengeance, he considers fun,
And plans it with a passion,
Time will not erase or blot,
A plot that he has brewing,
It’s when you think that he’s forgot,
He’ll conjure your undoing,
Bolted doors and windows barred,
Guard dogs prowling in the yard,
Won’t protect you in your bed,
Nothing will, from Pumpkinhead!”

It is also the directorial debut for the legendary Stan Wilson (you know,the guy who made predator) Now my opinion is Pumpkin Head two tells the best story because we get to know the origin of the demon. So, how does one kill Pumpkin head? You basically have to kill the person who summoned the demon. So of course summoning Pumpkin head for revenge comes at a price and that's where the fun comes in all of the films. Apparently, and I'm sure you aren't surprised here, they are planning on rebooting Pumpkin Head. This film and film series has a great Halloween vibe and I say if you plan on staying up late tonight, make a date with Pumpkin Head.

Surprise Bitches...I'm back. At least for October. Look I'm going to admit this, right here and right now...I'm lazy. I could write more, I could be paid  to write, I probably have enough followers to write and sell my horror novel, but I spend a whole bunch of time being tired. This isn't so much an excuse but just a cold hard fact. All that aside I love Halloween and I love all, well most of you guys and I wanna be part of your Halloween. So each day of October I'll give a movie recommendation and a review. II'll even try to make it different from years past.