https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z0GFRcFm-aY
So if you are reading this blog I assume you are part of the 70% of Americans frustrated over this election. In fact only 37% of you feel hopeful over this election. So I figure you have two options, sit in front of the TV all night hoping the person you want least in the office isn't elected OR you can spend your time more wisely. I suggest watching end of the world horror films so that you can learn how to prep for the end times.
WHAT YOU WILL NEED:
1. Alcohols. Notice i did not say alcohol. That's because serious matters call for many alcohols. Use this rule of thumb: in alcohol emergencies go pick up the amount you would normally buy...and then multiply that by 3.
2. A streaming device. Unless you happen to have all these films on DVD, even if you do its time to move into the new age. Get like a fire stick or a roku or something.
3. Your still going to want to know who the new president is...so keep your phone handy. Just stay off social media while you are in the middle of your election day black out.
THE FILMS:
1. Shawn of the dead.
...because you are pretty sure everyone not voting for your candidate is is a mindless zombie..or perhaps a moraless mindless zombie. Ah, a light take on the end of the world. Its message couldn't be more clear..there is nothing that a cold pint in your favorite bar can't fix. You will need to remember this over the next 4-8 years.
2. Night of the Comet
...because maybe if you pray heard enough a comet will pass by taking out half of the population..whatever half you think needs to go. This movie teaches us that no matter the size of the population rules are there for a reason. (remember the scene where one of them almost gets hit by jay walking?) A lesson you are going to need when the riots begin.
3. Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior
..because this is going to prep you for the coming energy crisis and nuclear war. Perhaps a nomadic lifestyle will fit you best, who's to say really? Mad Max teaches us that civilization as we know it could degenerate pretty quickly. Perhaps you shoud remember that next time you see people fighting on Facebook over a political meme..just imagine these people were fighting over fuel or food. Also, dogs don't fare well in these situations.
After you have watched all three films the new president elect should be selected, probably. Really who knows with this election. No matter who steps in office after these films you should be ready for the end..no matter what form our destructor comes in. May the odds be ever in your favor.
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