Dear Spelling Nazi,

First of all let me take the time to thank you for correcting my quickly typed facebook post or other off hand online post. I realize that I am a horrible speller and you may find this greatly offensive but unfortunately hooked on fonix...phonix ...phoenix...phonics, did not in fact work on me. In addition, the one class I made my lowest score in, ever, was typing. I know it may be quite amazing to you that I actually graduated high school and got myself a degree. In fact amazingly enough I managed to get a top score on the grammar portion of the ACT (that's like the SAT for you yanks).

This is why it is so important for you to take the time out of your, no doubt, very busy day to correct me.... as an educated individual who often posts quickly while multi-tasking, I so need the help of the less industrious to keep me on my toes. I mean, while I do not find such things important, nor do I understand this obsession to correct the spelling and grammar of others...I wouldn't want to cause anyone undue harm from my typographical errors. I know that some people have a disorder when it comes to details like that, and much like someone suffering from Turrets Syndrome, they can not stop themselves from shouting to me (ok typing really hard) that I have misspelled something. I have great pity on them. In fact I will pray to the spelling gods that I learn to be more detail oriented so that these unfortunate individuals may have some peace in their orderly lives.

I do feel it is my duty in this case, however to teach manners to the well spelled but boorish world. Many people feel it is their duty to point out spelling and grammar mistakes they find and quickly bring it to the attention of the writer....

 .....and they're wrong. The etiquette for correcting another person's grammar is that you don't, not unless you have been asked by the author or happen to be their editor. That is the general rule when it comes to manners and correcting grammar and spelling. Why is it bad manners you ask? Well, it is because it shows that you are not paying attention to the meaning of what they are saying or writing, only to the way they say it or spell it, which, although important, isn't as important. It also comes across as one up-man ship. As Americans we live in a society where we all interact with one another. Society dictates that we are gracious to everyone we meet and display appropriate banter with all social classes and educational levels as if these classes did not exist. While this is not true in all countries, it is true here. This means one does not ever publicly correct another person for any reason, unless they are in immediate danger. So yes, I guess if someone's spelling or grammar may cause them death or harm, you should intervene. Otherwise it is best to simply ignore the mistake and move on. What about the author not making their meaning known..communicating well and all that jazz. Please don't fool yourself, you most probably knew their meaning and was simply being judgey...or preachy...or whatever. How do I know? Because otherwise you would have asked what they were trying to say and you would not have corrected the author.

In addition, don't be so quick to judge typo's, misspellings, and grammatical errors as someone being unintelligent or uneducated. I have a personally type that gets actually angry at details (and those who care about them)....I am annoyed at the idea of slowing down to type slowly enough to never make a typo and I most certainly do not proof read..uh...anything. I'm pretty sure if it is important I can pay someone, now that I am out of school, to handle that for me if the situation really calls for it.  As a fun side note, there are several other people who where impossibly bad spellers, who did quite fine, including Jane Austin, George Washington, Andrew Jackson, Winston Churchill, Agatha Christie, Albert Einstein, Ernest Hemingway, and F. Scott Fitzgerald. You can find out more about these horrible spellers here:  http://theweek.com/article/index/246092/11-historical-figures-who-were-really-bad-at-spelling

So in closing I must again say thank-you, as it is my duty to do so, for all the work and dedication you-spelling Nazi,  put into noticing my voracious appetite for  the complete destruction of the English language. Without you to keep me from consistently ruining the internet for everyone, what would the world do.

Kindest Regards,
An Atrocious Speller

P.S. I am sure you can find several typographical errors above you can obsess over...you are WELCOME!