Yesterday on Facebook I made an innocent post about 2 holiday movies (Elf and Fred Claus) and which was the best. I had some guy remark they were both silly and religious holidays suck. Whoa! Slow down there Scrooge. I see post after post from angry people who just seem to hate...everything. Its that time of year, when people are just a little meaner and a lot more crazy. There REALLY is no need to say things to ruin other peoples holiday. Really. If you don't like a holiday, ok that's great..just keep it to yourself because no one wants to hear all of THIS:
1. Happy Holidays and the "War on Christmas"
There is no war on Christmas. Long before it became the politically correct thing to say, I would pipe out Happy Holidays to people and so did plenty of others. When I say Happy Holidays I mean Happy Thanksgiving, Happy Christmas, Happy New Year and Happy...host of a thousand other small religious and non religious holidays that we often don't really celebrate anymore, yet still occur in December. I grew up in a small rural town that had very little racial or religious diversity, so it never even occurred to me that people were trying to leave Christmas out purposefully because someone may not celebrate Christmas. Exactly why are we making a big deal out of this? It just isn't a big deal. If someone wants to wish me well, I am fine with however they choose to say it. Who are these people getting so up set with people saying Happy Holiday or Merry Christmas?? All I can figure is these people just don't like being told what to do. They want to move through life without all the pressure of
people telling them to be merry or happy I guess. I mean those are some pretty high expectations.
2. Holiday Haters
There are people out there who actually hate holidays. Not just Christmas either but Thanksgiving (how can you hate eating food), and well basically anything that involves celebration. I sincerely don't understand what they are objecting to? People having fun? Laughter? Children playing??? Is it limited to
holidays, or all celebrations? Did no one give them valentines in third grade?
The reality is that life is hard. Something bad is
happening to someone, somewhere every day. Yes holidays are silly and yes they are commercialized but they are important. They are days when we can come together and all have a reason to smile. I would celebrate holidays even if I had no family and no friends. I would volunteer and spend time with those less fortunate than myself and share whatever I had with them. There is ALWAYS someone less fortunate than yourself no matter what your circumstances are. If you innately do not understand the reasons we as a society celebrate things, I don't know how to help you.
3. Angry Christians
Someone said Happy Holidays! Christmas is to Commercialized! Christmas isn't a religious holiday (stop celebrating)! Complain, complain, complain!!!! Allow me to set the record straight. Christmas is the one time of year Christians really have the time to shine. You can build homes for the homeless, visit those in prison, feed the hungry....and make a difference. Don't you think that is what the birthday boy would want? Do you think he wants you making angry comments on news talk shows as the world rolls their eyes? Don't you think he would rather you be about his fathers business??? True religion is taking care of orphans and widows. In other words, what Christianity is really about is helping those who are not in a position to help themselves.Of course we should always be doing these things but this time of year...the world is looking. You can let them see large light displays and greed or you can show them light. The choice is yours.
Monday, December 8, 2014
Tuesday, October 21, 2014
My Macabe Gift To You This Halloween
What is more terrifying than a horror movie? The horror that occurs around us every day. Reality has this odd way of being far more strange than anything a mere movie can cook up. It is my gift to you this Halloween to break the illusion of comfort you have watching your favorite chilling tales on tv that you know aren't real, by giving you truly horrifying stories that have actually occurred. Do you hate clowns, bugs and evil infested homes?? Then you probably shouldn't read the rest of this blog.
1.Clowns
I'm not sure why clowns are so scary to so many people, its basically just white face paint! Maybe its because unfortunately evil clowns really do exist.
-Marlene Warren
In 1990 Marlene Warren from the Palm Beach area was shot in the face by a clown with two silver balloons and a bunch of flowers.While her husband was suspected the case remains unsolved
-The clown hitman
The leader of a Mexican cartel was murdered by a clown. Francisco Arellano Felix the leader of the Arellano Felix drug clan was shot to death on the Baha beach resort of Los Cabos by a gunman in a clown costume.
-Klutzo
Amon Paul 'Klutzo" Carlock of Springfield IL. was a clown and minister who entertained children in Sunday school. When he returned from a mission trip (as a clown) in the Philippines and was stopped by a routine check at the airport. Authorities found photos of young naked boys in his camera and laptop. His house was then raided where more child porn was found. Many children testified to his abuse in court.
-Pogo
Last but not least is Pogo but you may know him as John Wayne Gacy..You know the rapist and serial killer who also entertained as a clown at children's parties. He killed over 33 people and hid them in his basement.
2.Creepy Crawlers
Ever go through a spider web and get so freaked out you rip your shirt off out of fear you can't see the spider hiding out in the folds of your garment..oh, that's just me? Um....well ok then, maybe these stories won't freak you out as much as they did me.
-The spider house
In Misouri there is a house that bleeds brown recluses. Yep you just read that correct. In 2007 a family bought a home at whitmoor country club estates for over 400,000. Shortly after moving in the home they found out it was infested with over 5,000 brown recluse spiders. The spiders would fall on them during showers and out of lighting fixtures. The family moved out of the house and filed bankruptcy. Let's just burn this home down and call it a day.
-Blood Suckers
A British backpacker had a leech in her nose for about a month. After returning home she noticed something sticking out of her nose but thought it was just blood from persistent nose bleeds she was having. she was wrong. It took the doctors over half an hour with her pinned to the bed with tweezers to remove the leech. The leech was the size of her forefinger and as fat as her thumb. For the love of everything holy how does one go a month without noticing they have a leech lodged in their sinus cavities.
-The chest burster
A spider crawled through an old appendix scar of an Australian man and made his way to his chest. Doctors found and removed the small tropical spider. The man woke up one morning to a red line extending from his navel toward his chest. Each day the line would go further up his body. The doctor finally figured out something was up when blisters started to form. Look I'm not saying it was aliens but...ALIENS.
3. Murder Houses
-The Cecil Hotel
Room 1408 ain't got nothing on this place. It's impossible for me to give you information on all the macabre happenings here. Built in 1927, for some reason it became a top destination for suicides in the 50's. By the 60's it turned into a happening place for murders and was one of the last places the black dahlia was seen alive. Robert Ramirez and Jack Unterweger both lived there. Also the poor Elisa Lam had her mental break down here. If you are into odd spectral photographs, this is the place to get them. Quite a few out of place pictures have been taken there. Um, can some one call the exorcist for this building..stat?
-The Holmes Murder Castle
In 1886 H.H. Holmes moved to Chicago and started building a castle. During the 1893 world's fair he opened the home as a hotel to lure in victims. The home had mazes, gas lines, chutes, trapdoors, and kilns so that he could kill and dispose of bodies. It is speculated he killed between 20 and 200 people before being caught. He was hanged at age 34 in 1896. This sounds a whole lot like the plot to saw.
-1129 Ride Avenue
The Congelier mansion got its start as a place for evil to reside in 1871 when Lyda Congelier caught her husband with the servant girl Essie and stabbed him and DECAPITATED her. Then in 1900 Dr. Brunrichter blew the windows out of the home during an experiment to re-animate the heads of recently dead women.Thomas Edison even visited the home and attempted to contact the deceased. The home was destroyed in 1927 by a local gas company during an accident. This story is so crazy it sounds made up! Who wants to make a movie about a crazy Frankenstein mad scientist working with Thomas Edison to create zombies to destroy Tesla with me?
Happy Halloween everyone! I hope you manage to stay away from murdering clowns, infestations of insects and houses inhabited by satan.
1.Clowns
I'm not sure why clowns are so scary to so many people, its basically just white face paint! Maybe its because unfortunately evil clowns really do exist.
-Marlene Warren
In 1990 Marlene Warren from the Palm Beach area was shot in the face by a clown with two silver balloons and a bunch of flowers.While her husband was suspected the case remains unsolved
-The clown hitman
The leader of a Mexican cartel was murdered by a clown. Francisco Arellano Felix the leader of the Arellano Felix drug clan was shot to death on the Baha beach resort of Los Cabos by a gunman in a clown costume.
-Klutzo
Amon Paul 'Klutzo" Carlock of Springfield IL. was a clown and minister who entertained children in Sunday school. When he returned from a mission trip (as a clown) in the Philippines and was stopped by a routine check at the airport. Authorities found photos of young naked boys in his camera and laptop. His house was then raided where more child porn was found. Many children testified to his abuse in court.
-Pogo
Last but not least is Pogo but you may know him as John Wayne Gacy..You know the rapist and serial killer who also entertained as a clown at children's parties. He killed over 33 people and hid them in his basement.
2.Creepy Crawlers
Ever go through a spider web and get so freaked out you rip your shirt off out of fear you can't see the spider hiding out in the folds of your garment..oh, that's just me? Um....well ok then, maybe these stories won't freak you out as much as they did me.
-The spider house
In Misouri there is a house that bleeds brown recluses. Yep you just read that correct. In 2007 a family bought a home at whitmoor country club estates for over 400,000. Shortly after moving in the home they found out it was infested with over 5,000 brown recluse spiders. The spiders would fall on them during showers and out of lighting fixtures. The family moved out of the house and filed bankruptcy. Let's just burn this home down and call it a day.
-Blood Suckers
A British backpacker had a leech in her nose for about a month. After returning home she noticed something sticking out of her nose but thought it was just blood from persistent nose bleeds she was having. she was wrong. It took the doctors over half an hour with her pinned to the bed with tweezers to remove the leech. The leech was the size of her forefinger and as fat as her thumb. For the love of everything holy how does one go a month without noticing they have a leech lodged in their sinus cavities.
-The chest burster
A spider crawled through an old appendix scar of an Australian man and made his way to his chest. Doctors found and removed the small tropical spider. The man woke up one morning to a red line extending from his navel toward his chest. Each day the line would go further up his body. The doctor finally figured out something was up when blisters started to form. Look I'm not saying it was aliens but...ALIENS.
3. Murder Houses
-The Cecil Hotel
Room 1408 ain't got nothing on this place. It's impossible for me to give you information on all the macabre happenings here. Built in 1927, for some reason it became a top destination for suicides in the 50's. By the 60's it turned into a happening place for murders and was one of the last places the black dahlia was seen alive. Robert Ramirez and Jack Unterweger both lived there. Also the poor Elisa Lam had her mental break down here. If you are into odd spectral photographs, this is the place to get them. Quite a few out of place pictures have been taken there. Um, can some one call the exorcist for this building..stat?
-The Holmes Murder Castle
In 1886 H.H. Holmes moved to Chicago and started building a castle. During the 1893 world's fair he opened the home as a hotel to lure in victims. The home had mazes, gas lines, chutes, trapdoors, and kilns so that he could kill and dispose of bodies. It is speculated he killed between 20 and 200 people before being caught. He was hanged at age 34 in 1896. This sounds a whole lot like the plot to saw.
-1129 Ride Avenue
The Congelier mansion got its start as a place for evil to reside in 1871 when Lyda Congelier caught her husband with the servant girl Essie and stabbed him and DECAPITATED her. Then in 1900 Dr. Brunrichter blew the windows out of the home during an experiment to re-animate the heads of recently dead women.Thomas Edison even visited the home and attempted to contact the deceased. The home was destroyed in 1927 by a local gas company during an accident. This story is so crazy it sounds made up! Who wants to make a movie about a crazy Frankenstein mad scientist working with Thomas Edison to create zombies to destroy Tesla with me?
Happy Halloween everyone! I hope you manage to stay away from murdering clowns, infestations of insects and houses inhabited by satan.
Tuesday, September 2, 2014
The Art of Drinking Alone
I recently read a little article about how to drink alone, except it wasn't about how to drink alone, it was about how to go to a bar alone. That isn't drinking alone. That is drinking at a bar with new friends. It was an entire article about how to go to a bar an drink, this isn't something that needs explanation. If you are that girly and can't handle manning up at a bar and ordering a drink by yourself..stop reading my blogs. You aren't worthy of them.
No drinking alone is when you are home, by yourself and you pull out a bottle of wine..and drink the whole thing..then you decide hey...that bottle of Fireball in the freezer look delicious, so you start playing drinking games with yourself. Then you wake up the next morning in the bathtub with a bad haircut you gave yourself. THAT my friends, is drinking alone. I have a few tips for those of you who wish to become a seasoned professional at this.
1. Reasons to drink: Because you had a good day, because you had a bad day, because your day was kinda so-so, because a glass of red wine is good for you, because people had to fight to get prohibition repealed (I think), because..sports, shots..shots...shots, because ex girlfriends/boyfriends...because treat yo' self.
2. Get your snacks together. After about the third or fourth drink you are going to start craving Taco Bell. Be prepared. You don't want to venture out and get a DUI. This completely negates the whole reason for staying in, so be ready. I like to get fancy cheese and crackers because it makes me feel all sophisticated stuff but Hot Pockets and Doritos work too.
3. Get the TV ready. This is the time to watch all those guilty pleasures no one will watch with you. Some of my favorites include: Saved by the Bell, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Botched and any horror movie made between 1980 and 1989. Plus, everything becomes better after the third drink too. EVERYTHING. There are entire movies I can not watch sober that are amazing about..oh...four drinks in. Take The Holiday. This movie is so horrible, just oh so bad. The first time I saw it though I had been drinking and thought it was super funny, it came on cable one day when I was sober and I realized I was mistaken. Alcohol gives you movie beer goggles.
4. Hide your phone. Seriously, if you know you are a drunk texter and you don't want to accidentally text your ex at 2am. HIDE YOUR PHONE. In fact you may want to stay away from Snapchat, Facebook and Twitter. Let's be honest, the first drunk Facebook status is funny-the tenth is pathetic. Also you may want to hide your credit and debit cards if you like to shop online.
5.This is the perfect time to finish that screen play. Channel Hemingway.
6. Do not do this on a Sunday night. FACT..all hangovers are worse on a Monday morning.
7. Another fact..no one can see how bad you dance when you are drinking home alone..so get your groove on to every boy band from the 90's that your heart desires.
8. If you are in fact drinking because you are depressed, I suggest Googling new cocktails you have never tried before or creating your own. Although I advise drinking alone only when you are happy not depressed..because other wise you will just be more depressed. (Drinking alone when you are happy on the other hand just makes you more happy)
9. Don't drink crappy beer alone because that really is just sad. Spring for the good stuff or go on to bed.
10. Here is a little tidbit of information for you: dogs are hilarious when they are drunk.I'm not saying you should give you dog a drink, but I'm also not saying you shouldn't give your dog a drink.
No drinking alone is when you are home, by yourself and you pull out a bottle of wine..and drink the whole thing..then you decide hey...that bottle of Fireball in the freezer look delicious, so you start playing drinking games with yourself. Then you wake up the next morning in the bathtub with a bad haircut you gave yourself. THAT my friends, is drinking alone. I have a few tips for those of you who wish to become a seasoned professional at this.
1. Reasons to drink: Because you had a good day, because you had a bad day, because your day was kinda so-so, because a glass of red wine is good for you, because people had to fight to get prohibition repealed (I think), because..sports, shots..shots...shots, because ex girlfriends/boyfriends...because treat yo' self.
2. Get your snacks together. After about the third or fourth drink you are going to start craving Taco Bell. Be prepared. You don't want to venture out and get a DUI. This completely negates the whole reason for staying in, so be ready. I like to get fancy cheese and crackers because it makes me feel all sophisticated stuff but Hot Pockets and Doritos work too.
3. Get the TV ready. This is the time to watch all those guilty pleasures no one will watch with you. Some of my favorites include: Saved by the Bell, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Botched and any horror movie made between 1980 and 1989. Plus, everything becomes better after the third drink too. EVERYTHING. There are entire movies I can not watch sober that are amazing about..oh...four drinks in. Take The Holiday. This movie is so horrible, just oh so bad. The first time I saw it though I had been drinking and thought it was super funny, it came on cable one day when I was sober and I realized I was mistaken. Alcohol gives you movie beer goggles.
4. Hide your phone. Seriously, if you know you are a drunk texter and you don't want to accidentally text your ex at 2am. HIDE YOUR PHONE. In fact you may want to stay away from Snapchat, Facebook and Twitter. Let's be honest, the first drunk Facebook status is funny-the tenth is pathetic. Also you may want to hide your credit and debit cards if you like to shop online.
5.This is the perfect time to finish that screen play. Channel Hemingway.
6. Do not do this on a Sunday night. FACT..all hangovers are worse on a Monday morning.
7. Another fact..no one can see how bad you dance when you are drinking home alone..so get your groove on to every boy band from the 90's that your heart desires.
8. If you are in fact drinking because you are depressed, I suggest Googling new cocktails you have never tried before or creating your own. Although I advise drinking alone only when you are happy not depressed..because other wise you will just be more depressed. (Drinking alone when you are happy on the other hand just makes you more happy)
9. Don't drink crappy beer alone because that really is just sad. Spring for the good stuff or go on to bed.
10. Here is a little tidbit of information for you: dogs are hilarious when they are drunk.I'm not saying you should give you dog a drink, but I'm also not saying you shouldn't give your dog a drink.
Sunday, August 10, 2014
The Essential Cult Porn List
Honestly, I hate porn. It is the exact opposite of a turn on to me, not to mention being (usually) degrading to women. I'm actually a bit more conservative than most of you might think. In fact I feel my thoughts on the matter are best said by southern goddess Julia Sugarbaker about a minute thirty seconds into this speech.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SytdHXAjzVk
Watch it yet? Good! Yeah..most porn is stupid and NO woman would do that..and by that I mean..most of the things women do in porn.
That said there are a few essential porn movies that every true cult movie fan must watch. These movies are bound to give you a case of the giggles and up your cult movie coolness quotient. I watched all of these either out of curiosity or in a couple of cases because I didn't know they were porn. Yep, some older porn's trick you into thinking they are actual movies..with less graphic sex than HBO. You can find most of these films on youtube, although I won't post the links..I will provide trailers. :) You know, for your viewing pleasure.
1.) Debbie Does Dallas
I watched this one because I had to see it, the title is so well known and it just seemed like something I should watch. I laughed through the whole thing.
First of all there are these high school cheerleaders in Texas and one of them wants to go to Dallas to try out for the not Dallas cheerleaders. For whatever reason..her friends all decide to help her make money to go by..not losing their virginity but fooling around or something, I never quite got the point here. At any rate it is fairly innocent to watch, nothing to hard core and it's funny. Seriously there is less disturbing sex scenes here than what you see on Game of Thrones.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fOcE7tVdoT4
2.) Flesh Gordon
I saw this movie when I was a teenager. My dad had it at his video store and neither one of us knew it was porn. I seriously watched the entire thing and had no idea, so that tells you how innocent it was. I am pretty sure what I saw was an edited version though because it really wasn't what I would call pornographic exactly. Anyway it is however hilarious...really hilarious. Its worth watching for the costumes alone which really confused me as a teen, I remember thinking well that's a bit much now isn't it?
This is basically the porn version of Flash Gordon. I have no idea how to explain this movie, you just have to watch it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mcKvjVsYILw
3.) Cinderella 2000
I also watched this without knowing it was porn, at least at first I didn't know. This is a fairytale, porn, musical. Seriously. I couldn't stop watching. It was just so...weird. I mean really weird. I suggest watching while on the mind altering substance of your choice because..just...damn.
There are some odd sex laws in this movie about not having sex or something and the prince has to sleep with a bunch of people to find Cinderella on the night of the sex ball or I don't know. I haven't seen it in so long..mainly I remember thinking..are they really singing right now. One of the absolute strangest movies I have ever seen and totally watchable.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KPbFbqEh5zU
4.) Ilsa, She Wolf of the SS
I haven't watched ALL of this one just parts of it. It is however a very popular cult/grindhouse film. What can I say..I love Nazi's. I mean they are snazzy dressers aren't they? There are even tee shirts out there for IIsa. I'm pretty sure you can't say you are a cult fan and NOT watch this one. However, this movie isn't funny or light hearted as my other entries are. That's the main reason I haven't finished watching this one..it's just more graphic and there is no doubting it is porn. Sure it's a porn movie with a story but it's still porn and brutal porn at that.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f1K49rYSx4k
5.) Vampyros Lesbos
I watched this movie just because it is supposed to be a cult film. Basically one of those, you have to see it films. It is, well, it's porn. It attempts to hide this fact in a horror story..but it's porn. It's one of those..oh yeah, I saw that movies. Not near as entertaining as the others on the list but if you are both a cult and horror movie fan, you're gonna want to know what everyone is talking about. Lots of pointless nudity and still just a bit boring (like most old Italian horror movies). The fact is people love talking about if this movie is porn or art. I go with thinly veiled soft core porn..but you be the judge.
In this movie a vampire preforms at a night club to get women to go home with her.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=032XmaYcl4s
So there you go, some of the oddest cult movies I've ever seen that just happen to be porn. Go ahead and watch, I promise I won't tell!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SytdHXAjzVk
Watch it yet? Good! Yeah..most porn is stupid and NO woman would do that..and by that I mean..most of the things women do in porn.
That said there are a few essential porn movies that every true cult movie fan must watch. These movies are bound to give you a case of the giggles and up your cult movie coolness quotient. I watched all of these either out of curiosity or in a couple of cases because I didn't know they were porn. Yep, some older porn's trick you into thinking they are actual movies..with less graphic sex than HBO. You can find most of these films on youtube, although I won't post the links..I will provide trailers. :) You know, for your viewing pleasure.
1.) Debbie Does Dallas
I watched this one because I had to see it, the title is so well known and it just seemed like something I should watch. I laughed through the whole thing.
First of all there are these high school cheerleaders in Texas and one of them wants to go to Dallas to try out for the not Dallas cheerleaders. For whatever reason..her friends all decide to help her make money to go by..not losing their virginity but fooling around or something, I never quite got the point here. At any rate it is fairly innocent to watch, nothing to hard core and it's funny. Seriously there is less disturbing sex scenes here than what you see on Game of Thrones.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fOcE7tVdoT4
2.) Flesh Gordon
I saw this movie when I was a teenager. My dad had it at his video store and neither one of us knew it was porn. I seriously watched the entire thing and had no idea, so that tells you how innocent it was. I am pretty sure what I saw was an edited version though because it really wasn't what I would call pornographic exactly. Anyway it is however hilarious...really hilarious. Its worth watching for the costumes alone which really confused me as a teen, I remember thinking well that's a bit much now isn't it?
This is basically the porn version of Flash Gordon. I have no idea how to explain this movie, you just have to watch it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mcKvjVsYILw
3.) Cinderella 2000
I also watched this without knowing it was porn, at least at first I didn't know. This is a fairytale, porn, musical. Seriously. I couldn't stop watching. It was just so...weird. I mean really weird. I suggest watching while on the mind altering substance of your choice because..just...damn.
There are some odd sex laws in this movie about not having sex or something and the prince has to sleep with a bunch of people to find Cinderella on the night of the sex ball or I don't know. I haven't seen it in so long..mainly I remember thinking..are they really singing right now. One of the absolute strangest movies I have ever seen and totally watchable.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KPbFbqEh5zU
4.) Ilsa, She Wolf of the SS
I haven't watched ALL of this one just parts of it. It is however a very popular cult/grindhouse film. What can I say..I love Nazi's. I mean they are snazzy dressers aren't they? There are even tee shirts out there for IIsa. I'm pretty sure you can't say you are a cult fan and NOT watch this one. However, this movie isn't funny or light hearted as my other entries are. That's the main reason I haven't finished watching this one..it's just more graphic and there is no doubting it is porn. Sure it's a porn movie with a story but it's still porn and brutal porn at that.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f1K49rYSx4k
5.) Vampyros Lesbos
I watched this movie just because it is supposed to be a cult film. Basically one of those, you have to see it films. It is, well, it's porn. It attempts to hide this fact in a horror story..but it's porn. It's one of those..oh yeah, I saw that movies. Not near as entertaining as the others on the list but if you are both a cult and horror movie fan, you're gonna want to know what everyone is talking about. Lots of pointless nudity and still just a bit boring (like most old Italian horror movies). The fact is people love talking about if this movie is porn or art. I go with thinly veiled soft core porn..but you be the judge.
In this movie a vampire preforms at a night club to get women to go home with her.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=032XmaYcl4s
So there you go, some of the oddest cult movies I've ever seen that just happen to be porn. Go ahead and watch, I promise I won't tell!
Monday, July 14, 2014
It's The Purge and you ain't killin no one.
Quick! The Purge has commenced, what are you going to do??
Your ass is going to stay home like almost everyone else and shoot anyone who wonders on your lawn, which will be no one...and here's why.
1.) Criminals would not be able to surprise their victims:
So if you are reading this it's obvious to me you're no criminal! Crimes are possible because the criminals usually have the element of surprise. It's quite a bit harder to attack someone who is expecting it. Seriously, you guys do know that the United States still has more gun stores then any other country in the world. Let that sink in.. People would stock up on guns and weapons. There might even be red (lol) Friday purge sales. You know those crazy folks on Doomsday Preparers, those end is coming guys, or people who live in Kentucky? That would pretty much be everyone.
Public places (banks, stores, museums, ect) would be locked up tighter than Fort Knox and probably have armed guards inside. Anyone with a bit of cash wouldn’t even stay in the country. Hey honey, The Purge is coming, lets vacay in Jamaica. Retired military men would start businesses training private citizens for the coming purge and how to survive. Poor and live in a bad neighborhood? They would still be armed and would most likely have traps and home made weapons that would possibly be even more dangerous than store bought weapons, if they didn't leave the cities completely.
2. Your targets are saying, go ahead make my day...
Murder is legal, you make the mistake of trying to screw with someone and they will shoot you in the head, over and over. Most criminals would be killed before they even got close to breaking into, well, anything. Crime would probably be lower that night. Actually this is the only way the Purge would lower crime, by making criminals incapable of committing crimes because if they do..they will get blown away.
3. You kill someones loved ones and your probably going to get it next year.
(or sooner) Oh your just going to pick on the poor and homeless, no one saw you and your all good. (already explained why you wouldn't be able to do that but ok..I'll go with you here) Well great you're admitting you are a complete sociopath. Glad you have identified yourself so we can lock you away in Arkham Asylum since there isn't really going to BE a purge..but I digress. I mean your sociopathy is cool and all but even homeless sometimes have friends and loved ones, and if you ARE found out, you're a dead man walking. Is it worth it??
4. You, for no reason just turned into a killing machine? Ok then.
There’s no way a normal, well-balanced individual can go out and just kill people out of the blue. You don't just become a sociopath one night a year. Plus the idea that acting out aggression leads to emotional relief is mostly false. The reality is that acting out rage is more likely to increase aggression AND it would reduce guilt making most people MORE likely to commit crimes year round.
5. So the Purge seems like a way for the rich to control the poor
In the first chapter of The Purge it seemed like a bunch of jerky rich people hurting the poor. (or each other) Let me follow this line of thought. (Ok, Lets say the poor are just completely without resources to do anything to protect themselves, which really isn't a reality anyway..but lets go here)
Reality check, After a few years of the Purge, the poor would preemptively fight back. There would be a revolution. Even now, people will only take so much crap before they are just no longer willing to do so. Eventually the streets would run turn red with the decapitated heads of prep school rich kids and employers who treated their staff like crap, and the poor wouldn't wait for the actual purge.
6. So what does all this mean?
CNN is going home. What would happen?? Well...almost nothing. (domestic disputes, eh- Maaaybeee) Most criminals know how to be criminals or they wouldn't be criminals..they would be in jail...and going after an armed target that is expecting you isn't a good idea. Only crazy or stupid people would go out and actually carry out their plans, and they would find their targets waiting.
7.) So I still can't wait to see the movie...
Seriously, it's going to be epic. :)
Your ass is going to stay home like almost everyone else and shoot anyone who wonders on your lawn, which will be no one...and here's why.
1.) Criminals would not be able to surprise their victims:
So if you are reading this it's obvious to me you're no criminal! Crimes are possible because the criminals usually have the element of surprise. It's quite a bit harder to attack someone who is expecting it. Seriously, you guys do know that the United States still has more gun stores then any other country in the world. Let that sink in.. People would stock up on guns and weapons. There might even be red (lol) Friday purge sales. You know those crazy folks on Doomsday Preparers, those end is coming guys, or people who live in Kentucky? That would pretty much be everyone.
Public places (banks, stores, museums, ect) would be locked up tighter than Fort Knox and probably have armed guards inside. Anyone with a bit of cash wouldn’t even stay in the country. Hey honey, The Purge is coming, lets vacay in Jamaica. Retired military men would start businesses training private citizens for the coming purge and how to survive. Poor and live in a bad neighborhood? They would still be armed and would most likely have traps and home made weapons that would possibly be even more dangerous than store bought weapons, if they didn't leave the cities completely.
2. Your targets are saying, go ahead make my day...
Murder is legal, you make the mistake of trying to screw with someone and they will shoot you in the head, over and over. Most criminals would be killed before they even got close to breaking into, well, anything. Crime would probably be lower that night. Actually this is the only way the Purge would lower crime, by making criminals incapable of committing crimes because if they do..they will get blown away.
3. You kill someones loved ones and your probably going to get it next year.
(or sooner) Oh your just going to pick on the poor and homeless, no one saw you and your all good. (already explained why you wouldn't be able to do that but ok..I'll go with you here) Well great you're admitting you are a complete sociopath. Glad you have identified yourself so we can lock you away in Arkham Asylum since there isn't really going to BE a purge..but I digress. I mean your sociopathy is cool and all but even homeless sometimes have friends and loved ones, and if you ARE found out, you're a dead man walking. Is it worth it??
4. You, for no reason just turned into a killing machine? Ok then.
There’s no way a normal, well-balanced individual can go out and just kill people out of the blue. You don't just become a sociopath one night a year. Plus the idea that acting out aggression leads to emotional relief is mostly false. The reality is that acting out rage is more likely to increase aggression AND it would reduce guilt making most people MORE likely to commit crimes year round.
5. So the Purge seems like a way for the rich to control the poor
In the first chapter of The Purge it seemed like a bunch of jerky rich people hurting the poor. (or each other) Let me follow this line of thought. (Ok, Lets say the poor are just completely without resources to do anything to protect themselves, which really isn't a reality anyway..but lets go here)
Reality check, After a few years of the Purge, the poor would preemptively fight back. There would be a revolution. Even now, people will only take so much crap before they are just no longer willing to do so. Eventually the streets would run turn red with the decapitated heads of prep school rich kids and employers who treated their staff like crap, and the poor wouldn't wait for the actual purge.
6. So what does all this mean?
CNN is going home. What would happen?? Well...almost nothing. (domestic disputes, eh- Maaaybeee) Most criminals know how to be criminals or they wouldn't be criminals..they would be in jail...and going after an armed target that is expecting you isn't a good idea. Only crazy or stupid people would go out and actually carry out their plans, and they would find their targets waiting.
7.) So I still can't wait to see the movie...
Seriously, it's going to be epic. :)
Tuesday, June 24, 2014
my summer reading list
There are tons of book lists out there and here is another one. These are some of my favorite pool side reads for when I'm to cheap to buy the latest US magazine and have to pull something off the book shelf. Just to let you know, I'm a fan of light reads with happy endings. Novels that you can read on a plane or on vacation and not have to think to hard about. In these picks if there isn't a happy ending, then it's told in a way that the main character either isn't touched by what has happened or has found what they were looking for. I won't bother with a tear jerker or anything to serious...life is serious enough don't you think?
1. Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil
This was on the best seller list for 216 weeks, longer than any other novel and it's still left off of most must read lists. I love the novel because I can identify with the reporter in the story. Personally I often find myself in situations where I'm surrounded by larger than life characters that I'm not really interacting with but mearly observing. The book gives an interesting look at southern life amoung the elites, an interesting history about Savanah, and a nice touch of southern hoodoo...just to keep things interesting. Beautifully written, morbidly fascinating, and unusual..I've never read anything else like it. Here is a piece of advice from the author, always stick around for one more drink, that's when things happen. That's when you find out everything you need to know.
2. Everything's Eventual
14 short stories by Stephen King. Look I love King but he honestly doesn't seem to know when to shut up 50% of the time. He excells at short story writting and this collection is arguably his best. This book is so good that my non horror novel reading mom stole my first copy of this book! Ha! The book is the perfect beach read as you can finish one story then run for a quick dip.
Basically this complication is unique because the stories range from cheap thrills to classic horror tales. Because there are 14 stories, I'm not going to go into commentary on each story. You are just going to have to trust me that it's a wild ride.
3. Freakeconomics
Technically this isn't a political book. It's a book that takes issues and gives you the actual numbers behind that issue. It takes emotion out and puts logic where it belongs. This is the book that made me a libertarian. The authors make no decisions on the issues they discuss. They simply give you information and let you decide. The writing is easy to digest and written in an interesting format to get the readers thinking and interested in learning how to question and ask better questions.
4. To Kill a Mockingbird
The author builds a world with vivid characters and a story that happens around the main character and not directly to her. This form of story telling always seems to draw me in. Yes, the story has a grand ideal it's teaching but that's not why it's a great read. It's a great read because the story is full of eccentric characters and the well told surface story about what is happening in the main characters
life. To Kill a Mockingbird is actually a pleasant undemanding read.
5. The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy
This book is ridiculous. What is supposed to be funny is really just weird but that's exactly why I love it. This book doesn't take itself seriously and makes you slow down and realize how much better life can be if you don't take yourself quite so seriously. To enjoy this book you must give yourself up to the author and realize it's randomness is due to design. This is a book where stuff happens, there isn't much character development or useless details given to build worlds you don't care that much about. No, this is a book where things 'splode and go boom! Don't forget your towel.
6. The Eyes of the Dragon
This is my very favorite book. Very favorite...ever. It's a fairy tale in every sense. There is a hero prince and an evil magician. I personally fell in love with the characters, all of them but the bad guy
of course. Again I've picked a story told by someone watching everything happen, which gives the epic fantasy it's interesting tone. I read it and imagine I'm sitting by a fireplace being told this yarn by a traveling storyteller who witnessed everything actually happen. I love happy endings, the bad guy getting it in the end and the hero unequivocally being just that. This is a book that gives you that sense of completion. It has always been for me, the characters that made this story.
7, We Need to Talk About Kevin
This is a horror story told in an unusual format. The mother of a young teenage boy who goes on a shooting spree writes letters to her ex husband. In the story she questions if she herself is a monster
too. The story plays on the fear that you might one day give birth to evil. Is this just a woman thing? I don't know but I know even I, who have no immediate plans to have a family has had that thought cross my mind. Is the boys evil behavior due to her parenting, genetic disposition or just fate
8. The Bloody Chamber
So, fact is I am a girl and I love fairy tales. There I said it, I'm not all bloody gore, occasionally I like a little romance thrown in with my gruesome tales. The Bloody Chamber is a collection of fairy tale adaptions. Sexy, scary, fun and yes, romantic...it beats Twilight or 50 Shades out any day in my opinion. Of all the books I've listed this one is actually the most complex. It uses metaphors...changes tenses and requires you to think. At the end of the day though it is another fun read..and never delves to far into its own ideology.
9. Shining Through
Yes, there is a film version and honestly it's a little better than the book version but there is just so,etching about the main character I love. She is smart, brave and just a little bit nieve. Her story is
told with lavish sweeping description and biting wit. This is a story for anyone who has ever felt under appreciated or like an ugly duckling. The one draw back or plus depending you what your looking for is that it is sexually explicit, however, the narrator is so compelling...much like hearing the account of an old friend..that you will easily forgive her any vices and eagerly listen to her chatter.
10. A Spell for Chameleon
This is the very first Xanth novel. If you don't know what that means....google it. Piers Anthony is a great writer and each novel in this long running series is all fun..even the bad guys usually don't end up being that bad when all is said and done. It's full of puns, crazy situations and magic. You can pick up any novel in this series and feel comfortable reading it. I myself did not know Anthony was still writing on this series and I was pleased to find out while writing this top ten list that he is! Honestly, this isn't well written and it is a bit childish and sexist. That said the world that is created, the ideas, the way one story runs into the next. Few authors can put so many ideas into each story so effortlessly. The entire series is fluff but if you haven't guessed by now, I basically like fluff. The world is a serious dark hard place. Give me happy ending fantasy, no matter the genre! Lord knows, we all need to escape now and again.
1. Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil
This was on the best seller list for 216 weeks, longer than any other novel and it's still left off of most must read lists. I love the novel because I can identify with the reporter in the story. Personally I often find myself in situations where I'm surrounded by larger than life characters that I'm not really interacting with but mearly observing. The book gives an interesting look at southern life amoung the elites, an interesting history about Savanah, and a nice touch of southern hoodoo...just to keep things interesting. Beautifully written, morbidly fascinating, and unusual..I've never read anything else like it. Here is a piece of advice from the author, always stick around for one more drink, that's when things happen. That's when you find out everything you need to know.
2. Everything's Eventual
14 short stories by Stephen King. Look I love King but he honestly doesn't seem to know when to shut up 50% of the time. He excells at short story writting and this collection is arguably his best. This book is so good that my non horror novel reading mom stole my first copy of this book! Ha! The book is the perfect beach read as you can finish one story then run for a quick dip.
Basically this complication is unique because the stories range from cheap thrills to classic horror tales. Because there are 14 stories, I'm not going to go into commentary on each story. You are just going to have to trust me that it's a wild ride.
3. Freakeconomics
Technically this isn't a political book. It's a book that takes issues and gives you the actual numbers behind that issue. It takes emotion out and puts logic where it belongs. This is the book that made me a libertarian. The authors make no decisions on the issues they discuss. They simply give you information and let you decide. The writing is easy to digest and written in an interesting format to get the readers thinking and interested in learning how to question and ask better questions.
4. To Kill a Mockingbird
The author builds a world with vivid characters and a story that happens around the main character and not directly to her. This form of story telling always seems to draw me in. Yes, the story has a grand ideal it's teaching but that's not why it's a great read. It's a great read because the story is full of eccentric characters and the well told surface story about what is happening in the main characters
life. To Kill a Mockingbird is actually a pleasant undemanding read.
5. The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy
This book is ridiculous. What is supposed to be funny is really just weird but that's exactly why I love it. This book doesn't take itself seriously and makes you slow down and realize how much better life can be if you don't take yourself quite so seriously. To enjoy this book you must give yourself up to the author and realize it's randomness is due to design. This is a book where stuff happens, there isn't much character development or useless details given to build worlds you don't care that much about. No, this is a book where things 'splode and go boom! Don't forget your towel.
6. The Eyes of the Dragon
This is my very favorite book. Very favorite...ever. It's a fairy tale in every sense. There is a hero prince and an evil magician. I personally fell in love with the characters, all of them but the bad guy
of course. Again I've picked a story told by someone watching everything happen, which gives the epic fantasy it's interesting tone. I read it and imagine I'm sitting by a fireplace being told this yarn by a traveling storyteller who witnessed everything actually happen. I love happy endings, the bad guy getting it in the end and the hero unequivocally being just that. This is a book that gives you that sense of completion. It has always been for me, the characters that made this story.
7, We Need to Talk About Kevin
This is a horror story told in an unusual format. The mother of a young teenage boy who goes on a shooting spree writes letters to her ex husband. In the story she questions if she herself is a monster
too. The story plays on the fear that you might one day give birth to evil. Is this just a woman thing? I don't know but I know even I, who have no immediate plans to have a family has had that thought cross my mind. Is the boys evil behavior due to her parenting, genetic disposition or just fate
8. The Bloody Chamber
So, fact is I am a girl and I love fairy tales. There I said it, I'm not all bloody gore, occasionally I like a little romance thrown in with my gruesome tales. The Bloody Chamber is a collection of fairy tale adaptions. Sexy, scary, fun and yes, romantic...it beats Twilight or 50 Shades out any day in my opinion. Of all the books I've listed this one is actually the most complex. It uses metaphors...changes tenses and requires you to think. At the end of the day though it is another fun read..and never delves to far into its own ideology.
9. Shining Through
Yes, there is a film version and honestly it's a little better than the book version but there is just so,etching about the main character I love. She is smart, brave and just a little bit nieve. Her story is
told with lavish sweeping description and biting wit. This is a story for anyone who has ever felt under appreciated or like an ugly duckling. The one draw back or plus depending you what your looking for is that it is sexually explicit, however, the narrator is so compelling...much like hearing the account of an old friend..that you will easily forgive her any vices and eagerly listen to her chatter.
10. A Spell for Chameleon
This is the very first Xanth novel. If you don't know what that means....google it. Piers Anthony is a great writer and each novel in this long running series is all fun..even the bad guys usually don't end up being that bad when all is said and done. It's full of puns, crazy situations and magic. You can pick up any novel in this series and feel comfortable reading it. I myself did not know Anthony was still writing on this series and I was pleased to find out while writing this top ten list that he is! Honestly, this isn't well written and it is a bit childish and sexist. That said the world that is created, the ideas, the way one story runs into the next. Few authors can put so many ideas into each story so effortlessly. The entire series is fluff but if you haven't guessed by now, I basically like fluff. The world is a serious dark hard place. Give me happy ending fantasy, no matter the genre! Lord knows, we all need to escape now and again.
Tuesday, May 6, 2014
The top 10 episodes of the Twilight Zone you need to see.
One of the best television series to ever be made is the twilight zone. It was a critical success for its ability to introduce abstract ideas to everyday Americans. I'd say that the Twilight Zone is one of the few shows made at that time that still resonates with us today. It's supernatural moralism.... it's the mirror of doom showing us the monsters we are...it's neo artistic fableism.
Each of the three incarnations of the show are different and enjoyable, becoming distinctly more darkwith more horror or science fiction themes as the show reinvents itself. Below ill give my top three favorite episodes from each version of the show.
The Twilight Zone 1959-1964
This is my very least favorite version of the show. The themes are more science fiction asked and as a horror fan, these episodes bore me. In addition they are in black and white, and I hate back and white. However my very favorite episode is from the first version of the series. Just wish Ted Turner had colorized the Twilight Zone!
3. The a Stop at Willoughby. 1960
Also one of Sterling's favorites, ...Willoughby is the story of a man looking for a peace from his stressful life.
2. Number 12 looks just like you. 1964
This deserves a remake so that we can get rid of the god awful out fits and sets used, other than that it's great. Number 12 is a story about conformism at its worse. I think most people will watch and think its about beauty, but look deeper at this story. At its heart its abut the government, conformity
and believing things at face value.
1. The Hunt 1962
By far the best episode of all time, The Hunt is a story about a loyalty. It brings me to tears each time I watch it. 'Even the devil can't fool a dog."
The Twilight Zone 1985-1989
This is my favorite version of the show, I remember watching it as a child and being a but obsessed with the show. This version is definitely darker and more modern. I cut ally like every episode so this is much more difficult for me to narrow down to a list of three.
3. Rendezvous in a Dark Place 1989
Some people are afraid of death, others embrace it. This is a love story about death.
2. Need to Know 1986
The reason for our existence causes insanity. Sometimes, even in the real world ignorance can be bliss.this story definitely expands on that idea.
1.Examination Day 1985
I clearly remember this story fom my childhood. It still makes me sad and a litle frightened t the same ime. A child is demed to intelligent and is euthanized.
The Twlight Zone 2002-2003
I believe this version of the show would have been better on a cable channel such as HBO where even darker themes could have been investigated. Either way it's very enjoyable and it's to bad it didn't stay on the air longer.
3.Evergreen 2002
A family moves into a strange neighborhood were everyone must conform. What is about rules that scare me so much?
2. The Placebo Effect 2003
Hypochondria can be deadly in this story about a man who causes illness with his mind.
1. Gabe's Story 2002
A more whimsical entry than the rest, Gabe the hero of our story confronts the author to gain control of his existence.
Ill probably add links to theses at a later date.
Each of the three incarnations of the show are different and enjoyable, becoming distinctly more darkwith more horror or science fiction themes as the show reinvents itself. Below ill give my top three favorite episodes from each version of the show.
The Twilight Zone 1959-1964
This is my very least favorite version of the show. The themes are more science fiction asked and as a horror fan, these episodes bore me. In addition they are in black and white, and I hate back and white. However my very favorite episode is from the first version of the series. Just wish Ted Turner had colorized the Twilight Zone!
3. The a Stop at Willoughby. 1960
Also one of Sterling's favorites, ...Willoughby is the story of a man looking for a peace from his stressful life.
2. Number 12 looks just like you. 1964
This deserves a remake so that we can get rid of the god awful out fits and sets used, other than that it's great. Number 12 is a story about conformism at its worse. I think most people will watch and think its about beauty, but look deeper at this story. At its heart its abut the government, conformity
and believing things at face value.
1. The Hunt 1962
By far the best episode of all time, The Hunt is a story about a loyalty. It brings me to tears each time I watch it. 'Even the devil can't fool a dog."
The Twilight Zone 1985-1989
This is my favorite version of the show, I remember watching it as a child and being a but obsessed with the show. This version is definitely darker and more modern. I cut ally like every episode so this is much more difficult for me to narrow down to a list of three.
3. Rendezvous in a Dark Place 1989
Some people are afraid of death, others embrace it. This is a love story about death.
2. Need to Know 1986
The reason for our existence causes insanity. Sometimes, even in the real world ignorance can be bliss.this story definitely expands on that idea.
1.Examination Day 1985
I clearly remember this story fom my childhood. It still makes me sad and a litle frightened t the same ime. A child is demed to intelligent and is euthanized.
The Twlight Zone 2002-2003
I believe this version of the show would have been better on a cable channel such as HBO where even darker themes could have been investigated. Either way it's very enjoyable and it's to bad it didn't stay on the air longer.
3.Evergreen 2002
A family moves into a strange neighborhood were everyone must conform. What is about rules that scare me so much?
2. The Placebo Effect 2003
Hypochondria can be deadly in this story about a man who causes illness with his mind.
1. Gabe's Story 2002
A more whimsical entry than the rest, Gabe the hero of our story confronts the author to gain control of his existence.
Ill probably add links to theses at a later date.
Sunday, April 13, 2014
McDonald's is delicious and you know it.
Just shut up you food elitist. You organic food eating...400 dollar a week grocery bill having pretensious, annoying little nerd. I'm betting you like Taco Bell just like the rest of us. I've seen you...I caught you red handed buying that delicious ice dreamey Drumbstick. I know the secrets you don't think I know about. Personally I don't think a few chemicals in our food is going to kill anyone but even if you do....don't think I don't know about your midnight Jack In The Box runs. Bellow I've listed some of my favorite chemical concoctions available at your local food crack distributors nationwide.
5. Taco Bell smothered burrito.
It's amazing. Basically everything on the Taco Bell menu is amazing. I mean they took the Dorito and made a TACO shell out of it. That's just genius. I could eat every freaking thing they serve but the smothered burrito is just perfection. It's huge and covered in red sauce, sour cream and gooey tasty warm cheese. Take it home and enjoy with chips, salsa and a nice Dos Equis for perfection. It's over 600 calories but worth every bite.
4. McDonald sausage egg mc muffin
It's the perfect breakfast isn't it? Admit it, when you wake up early enough to stop by and grab one..isn't you're whole day just a little better? Warm, soft, and cheesy ( I'm a big fan of cheese), you could make them yourself at home..but it's just not the same is it? It's 300 calories of perfection.
3. MaggieMoo's cinnamon ice cream in a Heath bar coated waffle cone.
If you have never had this I suggest you do. I have this treat exactly once a year. I'm afraid to even know how many calories it has. This is the perfect mix of sweet and heat. MaggieMoo makes the absolute best ice cream...it beats Ben and Jerry's any day.
2. Jack In The Box sourdough cheesesteak melt
I think this is a limited time deal so jump on it if you haven't had one. There is alot of cheese, oh...the cheese. So gooey! Then the bread is lightly buttered too. There are plenty of onions and peppers to top the steak, but mostly I love all the amazing cheese. It's only about 450 calories too! Definitely a midnight snack must have.
1. Petros original
It's hard to find a Petros but if you do...order the original. What's an original you ask? Oh just a cup filled with food layered in this order: corn chips, chili, cheese, tomatoes, green onions, and sour cream. Jalapeños and black olives are optional...but not really, I mean why live in a world with out black olives and jalapeños? Oh my. It's magical really. It's like what I imagine unicorn meat tastes like. Unicorn meat.
Honorable mention goes to sonic Chicago style hot dogs and the turtle molten cake Sunday. There is nothing better than a hot summer night and a trip to sonic. The hot dog is. Covered in a pickle, relish,
tomato, celery salt, peppers, and a poppy seed bun. The cake is warm and cold at the same time with nuts and carmel. It's kinda a big deal.
So eat this you food elitist pigs, no seriously..if your mouth is full, I won't have to hear your mouth.
5. Taco Bell smothered burrito.
It's amazing. Basically everything on the Taco Bell menu is amazing. I mean they took the Dorito and made a TACO shell out of it. That's just genius. I could eat every freaking thing they serve but the smothered burrito is just perfection. It's huge and covered in red sauce, sour cream and gooey tasty warm cheese. Take it home and enjoy with chips, salsa and a nice Dos Equis for perfection. It's over 600 calories but worth every bite.
4. McDonald sausage egg mc muffin
It's the perfect breakfast isn't it? Admit it, when you wake up early enough to stop by and grab one..isn't you're whole day just a little better? Warm, soft, and cheesy ( I'm a big fan of cheese), you could make them yourself at home..but it's just not the same is it? It's 300 calories of perfection.
3. MaggieMoo's cinnamon ice cream in a Heath bar coated waffle cone.
If you have never had this I suggest you do. I have this treat exactly once a year. I'm afraid to even know how many calories it has. This is the perfect mix of sweet and heat. MaggieMoo makes the absolute best ice cream...it beats Ben and Jerry's any day.
2. Jack In The Box sourdough cheesesteak melt
I think this is a limited time deal so jump on it if you haven't had one. There is alot of cheese, oh...the cheese. So gooey! Then the bread is lightly buttered too. There are plenty of onions and peppers to top the steak, but mostly I love all the amazing cheese. It's only about 450 calories too! Definitely a midnight snack must have.
1. Petros original
It's hard to find a Petros but if you do...order the original. What's an original you ask? Oh just a cup filled with food layered in this order: corn chips, chili, cheese, tomatoes, green onions, and sour cream. Jalapeños and black olives are optional...but not really, I mean why live in a world with out black olives and jalapeños? Oh my. It's magical really. It's like what I imagine unicorn meat tastes like. Unicorn meat.
Honorable mention goes to sonic Chicago style hot dogs and the turtle molten cake Sunday. There is nothing better than a hot summer night and a trip to sonic. The hot dog is. Covered in a pickle, relish,
tomato, celery salt, peppers, and a poppy seed bun. The cake is warm and cold at the same time with nuts and carmel. It's kinda a big deal.
So eat this you food elitist pigs, no seriously..if your mouth is full, I won't have to hear your mouth.
Thursday, February 6, 2014
Stop hating on Valentines day.
Stop acting like you hate valentines day...it's a holiday, and holidays are great....you wear stupid stuff you normally can't, you drink more, party...and this holiday involves candy..so it's like Halloween with pink underware and who doesn't like pink underware? Oh, so You don't like a holiday that encourages sexy women to buy hot underware, fine...your loss loser.
Oh wait, this holiday commercializes love....ummm so does every other holiday. Every damn one of them, from New Years to Christmas. Well maybe not like Arbor Day....maybe.
Remember the paper valentines cards from grade school, the cartoon specials, the candy you got from the really cool kid who always put chocolate in his cards? Seriously...stop hating this holiday. It's just that, a holiday..it's there to enjoy. My advice is stop complaining and enjoy the day. There is nothing worse than someone who ruins a holiday for everyone else by deciding they are too cool to celebrate. Ugh..it's like the sober person at a party..in Vegas...with Aerosmith. Nobody likes that guy. Oh, no one will tell you how much you suck...except me, but you do. You know why? Heart shaped boxes of candy are fun, stupid sexy heart decorated underwear is fun, paper valentines are fun, heart shaped candy with xoxo across them are fun, pink champagne is fun...I could go on. You on the other hand, with your cynical, I don't need an excuse to buy my 'insert relationship status here' something are not fun. You are the opposite of fun...you are a poopie head. So there.
Oh wait, this holiday commercializes love....ummm so does every other holiday. Every damn one of them, from New Years to Christmas. Well maybe not like Arbor Day....maybe.
Remember the paper valentines cards from grade school, the cartoon specials, the candy you got from the really cool kid who always put chocolate in his cards? Seriously...stop hating this holiday. It's just that, a holiday..it's there to enjoy. My advice is stop complaining and enjoy the day. There is nothing worse than someone who ruins a holiday for everyone else by deciding they are too cool to celebrate. Ugh..it's like the sober person at a party..in Vegas...with Aerosmith. Nobody likes that guy. Oh, no one will tell you how much you suck...except me, but you do. You know why? Heart shaped boxes of candy are fun, stupid sexy heart decorated underwear is fun, paper valentines are fun, heart shaped candy with xoxo across them are fun, pink champagne is fun...I could go on. You on the other hand, with your cynical, I don't need an excuse to buy my 'insert relationship status here' something are not fun. You are the opposite of fun...you are a poopie head. So there.
Wednesday, January 22, 2014
Odd facts about Fatale Noir
1. Andie and I met on the set of Horrotica. Our short in this film was shot in less than 8 hours. We are the only actresses not nude in that short. We play girlfriends who take home women to literally eat.
2. We have been in five movies together, one trailer, a music video and various YouTube clips.
3. In Holy Ground we traveled north of Harlen county Kentucky to an abandoned rangers station to film with no heat, in below 30 degree weather.
4. We released a horror themed calendar in 2011.
5. In welcome to the funny farm we filmed at a haunted attraction closed for the summer.
6. Vampire Bikers from Hell was originally shot to be in the upcoming film midnight show staring Ron Jeremy and Gilbert Godfried, however I decided to pull it due to a disagreement with the producers.
7.The Grindhouse sleepover of terror was shot in 4 hours, however it took 7 months to edit. The movie is shot with a cast and crew entirely made of friends who wanted to help us do a fund raiser for vampire bikers from hell.
8. In almost all shots of Andie and I together, no matter the film, we have usually been drinking.
9. Seriously even the interviews. I prefer Merlot and Andie likes PBR.
10. Our casts and crews always call us the most fun set to work on. We believe in letting actors do just that, act and having amazing after parties where the PBR flows like red wine.
11. Our footage from the pilot episode of Bloody Mary's, along with our cameras were stolen in August 2013.
12. I was stopped coming home once from the deadliest gender by a concerned police officer who thought from all the blood, that I had been hurt.
13. The first time I met Dee Snider I told him, did you make a movie or something? His reply was...or something. He then posed for a picture with me.I'm not exactly a Twisted Sister fan.
14. I have a huge celebrity crush on Stephen king and John Kassir.
15. Andie is very talented with special fx's and has done all of or spfx work on a budget that is laughable even by indi standards. (Vampire bikers was shot on 40 bucks for example)
15. I direct movies like a photographer and freak out when someone movies the camera by even an inch.
16. In the deadliest gender, I really get my head bashed into the car in one scene, however that clip was not used. In Addition in the scene where the girl spits in my face, she actually did that too...my reaction is real. In the fight scene with me and andie we are both freezing and are holding each other for warmth..not aggression. You can also see me shake a bit if you watch closely.
17. My character in the Deadliest Gender shows the back story for my character in Horrotica.
18. The footage from Holy Ground was lost between 3 editors, including our hard drive which was also lost. We have a definite problem holding on to footage.
19. Holy ground was filmed as a tribute to the evil dead and Sam Rami.
20. Holy ground was filmed in a dry county, so we did beer runs twice a day to the county 30 minutes down the mountain for..."supplies".
21. Vampire bikers and bloody Mary's is filmed in bars, and the Grindhouse Sleepover will probably move to a bar for filming.
22. The budget for the grindhouse sleepover was 240$ all of it was spent on pizza and alcohol.
23. I swear we are not alcoholics.
Enjoy this insanity..... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TibY4tX88pE
2. We have been in five movies together, one trailer, a music video and various YouTube clips.
3. In Holy Ground we traveled north of Harlen county Kentucky to an abandoned rangers station to film with no heat, in below 30 degree weather.
4. We released a horror themed calendar in 2011.
5. In welcome to the funny farm we filmed at a haunted attraction closed for the summer.
6. Vampire Bikers from Hell was originally shot to be in the upcoming film midnight show staring Ron Jeremy and Gilbert Godfried, however I decided to pull it due to a disagreement with the producers.
7.The Grindhouse sleepover of terror was shot in 4 hours, however it took 7 months to edit. The movie is shot with a cast and crew entirely made of friends who wanted to help us do a fund raiser for vampire bikers from hell.
8. In almost all shots of Andie and I together, no matter the film, we have usually been drinking.
9. Seriously even the interviews. I prefer Merlot and Andie likes PBR.
10. Our casts and crews always call us the most fun set to work on. We believe in letting actors do just that, act and having amazing after parties where the PBR flows like red wine.
11. Our footage from the pilot episode of Bloody Mary's, along with our cameras were stolen in August 2013.
12. I was stopped coming home once from the deadliest gender by a concerned police officer who thought from all the blood, that I had been hurt.
13. The first time I met Dee Snider I told him, did you make a movie or something? His reply was...or something. He then posed for a picture with me.I'm not exactly a Twisted Sister fan.
14. I have a huge celebrity crush on Stephen king and John Kassir.
15. Andie is very talented with special fx's and has done all of or spfx work on a budget that is laughable even by indi standards. (Vampire bikers was shot on 40 bucks for example)
15. I direct movies like a photographer and freak out when someone movies the camera by even an inch.
16. In the deadliest gender, I really get my head bashed into the car in one scene, however that clip was not used. In Addition in the scene where the girl spits in my face, she actually did that too...my reaction is real. In the fight scene with me and andie we are both freezing and are holding each other for warmth..not aggression. You can also see me shake a bit if you watch closely.
17. My character in the Deadliest Gender shows the back story for my character in Horrotica.
18. The footage from Holy Ground was lost between 3 editors, including our hard drive which was also lost. We have a definite problem holding on to footage.
19. Holy ground was filmed as a tribute to the evil dead and Sam Rami.
20. Holy ground was filmed in a dry county, so we did beer runs twice a day to the county 30 minutes down the mountain for..."supplies".
21. Vampire bikers and bloody Mary's is filmed in bars, and the Grindhouse Sleepover will probably move to a bar for filming.
22. The budget for the grindhouse sleepover was 240$ all of it was spent on pizza and alcohol.
23. I swear we are not alcoholics.
Enjoy this insanity..... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TibY4tX88pE
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
2013 is all wrapped up
These are things I learned about people this year. I've done quite a bit of people watching this year. These are the lessons I learned from that.
Volunteer. No one volunteers. I meet so many people who live in a bubble where nothing bad ever really happens. They haven't got a real idea about loss, or what it's like to really be poor, hungry, alone or frightened. Volunteer and work with real people who are hurting. Don't give money, don't run a marathon for cancer, sit down and talk to someone alone and frightened. Give yourself. I volunteered for years at meals on wheels(delivered meals) the Red Cross and at a nursing home. I can see the difference it made in me.
Time is the most important thing you have. Once time is spent you can never make more of it. Choose to spend your time on people, places, things, ideas, and work that is worthy of the most valuable commodity you will ever have. This year I watched people waste so much time and energy on things and people that was so trivial, and that time will be gone forever. Dont spend time on regret or hate. Remember each moment is precious. Don't bother worrying about what your ex..anything is doing, remember the ex part? I see so many people dwelling on ex experiences...to what purpose?
Be your own cheerleader because if you don't believe in yourself no one else will. Actually, when the world is against you, you know you are on the right track. The world doesn't want you to succeed. The world wants you to know your place. Show the world it was wrong. I've never had great successes without great adversity. Usually the harder it is to reach a goal, the bigger your success will be. Don't give up just because "they" want you to.
I can't say this enough, people are busy. You are not their priority. Don't expect people to live up to your standards of friendship. Acknowledge that they are the center of their world, you are not. Love people, be there for them, and they will give back to the best of their ability. If you sit and keep score, you don't understand friendship. I see so many friendships die because people just expect to much. Oh yeah, being passage aggressive on Facebook never helps.
If you don't like your life, react differently. If you want change..you have to start with your behaviors. Sometimes that means losing in another area of your life to gain something else. Life is funny like that. I think the main thing is just figuring out what you really want. No one gets everything, if you don't settle you may not get anything. I think this has been the hardest thing I've had to learn in life. No one gets it all.
What are you fighting about? No really. If you love someone, sometimes you should just shut up.
Don't make promises you can not keep. If you say you are going to do something, do it. Your words hurt people, and promises should be taken seriously. There is nothing I hate worse than people who say something but can never be counted on to follow through.
You can do things alone. I have found the best things happen when you go places alone. Opportunities have trouble finding you in a crowd.
Happy 2014 everyone!
Volunteer. No one volunteers. I meet so many people who live in a bubble where nothing bad ever really happens. They haven't got a real idea about loss, or what it's like to really be poor, hungry, alone or frightened. Volunteer and work with real people who are hurting. Don't give money, don't run a marathon for cancer, sit down and talk to someone alone and frightened. Give yourself. I volunteered for years at meals on wheels(delivered meals) the Red Cross and at a nursing home. I can see the difference it made in me.
Time is the most important thing you have. Once time is spent you can never make more of it. Choose to spend your time on people, places, things, ideas, and work that is worthy of the most valuable commodity you will ever have. This year I watched people waste so much time and energy on things and people that was so trivial, and that time will be gone forever. Dont spend time on regret or hate. Remember each moment is precious. Don't bother worrying about what your ex..anything is doing, remember the ex part? I see so many people dwelling on ex experiences...to what purpose?
Be your own cheerleader because if you don't believe in yourself no one else will. Actually, when the world is against you, you know you are on the right track. The world doesn't want you to succeed. The world wants you to know your place. Show the world it was wrong. I've never had great successes without great adversity. Usually the harder it is to reach a goal, the bigger your success will be. Don't give up just because "they" want you to.
I can't say this enough, people are busy. You are not their priority. Don't expect people to live up to your standards of friendship. Acknowledge that they are the center of their world, you are not. Love people, be there for them, and they will give back to the best of their ability. If you sit and keep score, you don't understand friendship. I see so many friendships die because people just expect to much. Oh yeah, being passage aggressive on Facebook never helps.
If you don't like your life, react differently. If you want change..you have to start with your behaviors. Sometimes that means losing in another area of your life to gain something else. Life is funny like that. I think the main thing is just figuring out what you really want. No one gets everything, if you don't settle you may not get anything. I think this has been the hardest thing I've had to learn in life. No one gets it all.
What are you fighting about? No really. If you love someone, sometimes you should just shut up.
Don't make promises you can not keep. If you say you are going to do something, do it. Your words hurt people, and promises should be taken seriously. There is nothing I hate worse than people who say something but can never be counted on to follow through.
You can do things alone. I have found the best things happen when you go places alone. Opportunities have trouble finding you in a crowd.
Happy 2014 everyone!
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